Cosmo's Conundrum Poems

Black Monday: A Ballad of the Chimp

I

Kill the monkey!
 You must have heard!
Kill the monkey!
 It's all absurd!
 You must be stirred
 To spread the word!
  AND KILL THE MONKEY!

It started with one player who soon told all his mates
In the UK and in Canada and the United States.
The multitudes arose in one united front of hate.

But avoiding fate,
 Behind locked gates
  The hunted monkey hides and waits
Till the fury dies away
 And there is no more affray;
  The players all go back to play
And the thunder all abates!

II

Kill the monkey!
 Don't take any more!
Kill the monkey!
 If for nothing more
 Than for love of gore!
 Speed towards Uproar!
  AND KILL THE MONKEY!

I miss the thrill of strategy, of risking all to guess,
The heartbreak when I'm top at nine - I'll win the game unless
The tenth drops me five thousand, due to wagging's dark caress!

Yes, now you'll be blessed
 For each wild guess
  Without the risk of harsh redress
Removing swift the joy of gain,
 The YAY!, the arg!, the stab of pain;
  No more the blood will pound my veins
And dear God! I'll miss the stress!

III

Kill the monkey!
 He deserves no praise!
Kill the monkey!
 But don't waste your days
 In other ways -
 End this malaise!
  AND KILL THE MONKEY!

To my friends both sad and angry, in home or foreign lands,
Fellow addicts at this mind game, bearing proud our Cosmo brands,
Send your e-mails, give your feedback, shout heartfelt reprimands

But don't send demands
 From any hands
  As long as time still spills its sands
For though it won't quite be the same,
 We can't forget just why we came -
  To beat the chimp at his own game!
Oh! And that, my friends, still stands!

coda

At the end of the day
I'll still come here to play
 With less and less chance at the prize,

For I play for the torment
That the monkey can foment
 With that evil dance in his eyes.

I know still we'll arrive
High in the top five
 For the cream always will rise,

But I play for the pleasure
That no man can measure
 And only true friends realise,

For with each dawn's song,
More and more I belong
 Till I feel this is home in disguise,

And that's why I'll stay
And continue to play
 For after all,
  that in itself
   is the prize!